The Ground Beneath

the gound beneath my feet
gone, shattered

how did it get this way?
my push,
shoved me farther towards the ledge...

yet i trusted, trusted the ground would hold true.

now its a free fall,
tears,
screams well up
inside.. echo in my mind.

its all gone, everything i once had.
once cherished so reverently.

disapeared.
one mistake,
one mistake too many.
i was looking for the brace to keep myself up
pull myself back when the ground crumpled.

if i cry out, i know who will come,
that is not who i want.
more pain and misery that direction.

maybe that's what i deserve.
thats who wants me.
its not a soft place to fall.
never has been. but its a place.

i didn't deserve what i had
knew it was far to good to be true.
like a careless child i pushed it away,
grasping when it was out of reach.

i don't know
struggling to find anything
questioning everything.

just falling, scared of the place i will land.